When the sky falls in

Have you ever felt like Charlie Brown? Like you're running along all excited and feeling powerful, then someone sweeps the rug right out from underneath you?

That's how I feel today.

Today I was told that due to massive funding cuts, my position is being eliminated. In more basic terms, as of 5:00 pm EST on Friday, February 13, I no longer have a job. Laid off. Fired. Jobless. Another statistic.




I feel like the wind has just been knocked out of me. The tears haven't really come yet. I'm sure there will be enough tears to fill a bathtub when I have to start telling my clients that I will no longer be their counselor, well my tears anyhow. I am just vain enough to hope that a few clients will be tearful as well, lol

I'm not sure it has really hit me yet.

Some good things though: This makes it easy for me to decide whether or not I should have mediation to try to save my house. Without a job, that's pointless. Makes that decision easy.

On the other hand, I had viewed a cute 2 bedroom condo, not far from where I live now. It won't be on a river and won't be as private, but I will have a nice yard and its in a nice setting, almost rural but still in town. I have already called and left a message to see if it is still available. If it isn't, the condo next to it is coming up for rent. And they will let us keep the dog!

Although I couldn't see the good points at the time, thank goodness I got sick when I did and still had insurance! I also used up the almost 6 weeks worth of paid sick leave that I have earned over the years due to my excellent attendance. Otherwise, I would have lost it all. I also have almost three weeks of paid vacation coming to me, so I should be able to get a check for that. I just got the bills this week for my hospitalization, and although I won't be able to work out a deal for the surgeon and anesthesiologists fee, I can apply for financial aid on the hospital bill, and there is a chance that I can get a good percentage of the bill reduced, or not have to pay at all due to my income and bills.

As far as continuing health care, I may be eligible for medicaid. Hey, I paid taxes for all those years and I don't feel bad if I have to get that help now! I intend to get a full time job with benefits as soon as I possibly can, though in this economy, that will be very difficult.

Job availability is very poor in this town right now. There are people who spent their lives working in factories who are accepting positions at fast food places. Hopefully, I can find a job locally so that I can stay in this city until my son graduates from high school in 2011. Worst case scenario would be to re-locate, but that's only as a very last resort.

It's a scary time right now. I don't have family that can help me out, and I don't have a lot of savings (in part because some of it went to my mortgage)!

No matter what, I know that my children and I are in God's hands. I am hoping that the economy turns around soon. If that happens, they may start hiring at my workplace again, but I don't expect that to happen soon. A good point is that they are willing to write me nice letters of recommendation, and I will be leaving in very good standing.

Right now, I don't have any more words...