I'm serious. I really am done. I haven't been able to be on blogger much at all in the last few months, and I can't make blog visits like I used to. Therefore, I am DONE...
...with periods!
That's right. The last one was on December 2008. I am officially in menopause.
I no longer have to worry about this:
No more asking my dad, hubby, or sons to go out to the store for me to buy feminine products.
No more worry about all these costly feminine hygeine products!
They may have been a little more fun if I could have found them covered in flowers like I found here,
No more having to keep an emergency basket of feminine products, though this would make a cute gift basket, don't you think? Heh.
I would just about be willing to go back to having my periods if I could find these tampons. Click on the pic to enlarge so you can read the fine print.
Wouldn't you? No? Not me either, but I think the concept is freaking hilarious!
It's too bad I missed out on this phenomenon...environmentally friendly, sustainable cotton feminine napkins! That you can re-use! Boy howdy!
You can find this kind of stuff on etsy too. Just type in the keyword "napkins." I found this out accidentally when I was searching for table napkins. Not quite the thing I would put out on my table, no matter how creative my tablescaping.
Speaking of creative, I will no longer have the supplies on hand to make such beautiful artwork and creations as I found at the Tampon Craftswebsite. I will miss not being able to make a lovely tampon flower bouquet like this:
Too bad I didn't find this tampon applicator snowflake tree topper before Christmas so that I could put this atop my tree and impress all my relatives!
Since most women in menopause are with men who are approaching some state of baldness, it is a shame that we won't have the supplies on hand to make tampon toupees for our menfolk. Gosh darn it all!
I'm very lucky though. I have not had any of the legendary bad symptoms of menopause. No night sweats, no mood swings, no real hot flashes.
So don't hate me because I'm symptomless!
Anyhow, I am determined that being menopausal is not going to slow me down one bit. I feel better than I ever have before and am determined to do all that I can to stay healthy. This is not going to define me!
For those of you yet to experience this change of life, here's smooth sailing to you! (This phrase endorsed by Capt. Blackbeard of ye Blackbeard Brand Rugged Tampons)
Oh my gosh!! THis is hilarious!! I had my playpen removed in my early 20's so haven't had a period in 20 something years.........BUT I am having Hot Flashes from hell!! I refuse to take hormone replacement...my husband and children will just have to deal with it, I do!
ReplyDeleteFor a while I thought you were done with blogging!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on this new phase of your life, handled with your usual upbeat and optimistic manner I have come to admire so much!
VERY funny post Kady!
OMG too funny! The flowers made of tampoons made me laugh! Congrats on your new phase.
ReplyDeleteKady~~~
ReplyDeleteThis was all entirely too funny!! Loved it!
xoxo
Janie
OMG, "Fer pluggin' up yer bloody hole" That was just hilarious! So many funny things here, Kady... I'm surprised it took you a whole year to clue us in to your meno!
ReplyDeleteAnd that picture of the girl? That's the young girl who cried hysterically every time that moron Sanjaya sang on American Idol. Bwaaaa haaaaa haaaaaaaaaaaa
Justine :o )
I really have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard! Those crafts are suitable for a blog of their own, and the Blackbeard tampons are absolutely hysterical! I had a symptomless Big M too, and let me tell ya, I've said a lot of times, if I'd known it was going to be THIS wonderful (like you said no tampons, etc.), I would have gone through menopause long ago! laurie
ReplyDeletewow, congrats! i wish i could say the same thing. i can't wait to be done with it. mine are horrible. can leave the house for the first few days horrible. not to mention the nausea that comes a few days before, during and after it's over! uggh.
ReplyDeleteI bet you are feeling wonderful. Yay for no bad hormonal changes either! My mom had the same thing happen to her when she went through it. It was just gone with nothing to show for it. No symptoms, no mood swings, nada. I pray I'm the say way when it's my turn :)
Darling I stumbled upon your blog to find this hilarious post!! I like what I see so I think I will join your followers and return often. Happy for you and wish you the best during this new phase of life.
ReplyDeleteLove & Hugs
Duchess
You'll still have to have an emergancy stash for me. You know I've had to hit you up for some before. EWWW!
ReplyDeleteLove, love this post! The winner of the Halloween costume contest at the party I attended this year was a woman who came as a HUGE box of Tampons ... it was hysterical.
ReplyDeleteCongrats! I've been there and done that! And I like it much better!
ReplyDelete