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Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Dog Food Diet

Yesterday i was buying a large bag of Purina Dog food for my bulldog at Wal-Mart and was about to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again. Although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.



I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.)



Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.

So I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt, and a car hit us both.






I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard.




Wal-Mart won't let me shop there any more.

8 comments:

Mrs. B. Silly said...

ROFLMAO, that is the funniest thing I have heard in a long while. Thanks for the giggle. I'm glad I read this in the evening instead of with my morning coffee so that I don't have to clean my computer screen!

Deb said...

I can see why, you're giving people heart attacks. LOL!!!!! This is a joke right? You didn't tell her this for sure did you? LOL!!!!!

Tootsie said...

I got a similar one in my email the other day! cute post...you did a great job telling it much better!

Smilingsal said...

I got this in my email some time ago, but not with the pictures. Funny.

laurie @ bargain hunting said...

Ok, I have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard! Thanks for the laughs. laurie

Neabear said...

Too funny!! I had a sneaking suspicion I had heard this before. After reading the previous commments I realized I had an email similar to this previously. I still laughed out loud reading it.

nikkicrumpet said...

HAH...that was flipping hilarious!!!!! And the doggy pictures were the icing on the funny cake!

Raxx - A day in the life said...

Fantabulous! I thought you really had her going! Then I said 'nah' Kady's not so sarcastic! It must be a joke!

And a damn good one!