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Thursday, July 24, 2008

Adventures in Internet Dating

When my 12 year marriage split up 8 1/2 years ago, I decided that I was going to go and date my little heart out. I had not dated hardly at all for 6 years after my daughter was born, so when I met my ex, I fell much too quickly. I was also in my late 20s and thought I would never get a chance to be married, then we married much too soon after only 4 months of dating. I decided right then and there to date a lot of different men and not to settle ever again! I was determined to find Mr. Right.

I don't have pictures of all the men I have dated over the years (and you're probably glad about that!), but I thought I'd tell you some stories about the men I met online and my adventures with internet dating. All of my dates have been with men I met online. It can be a little scary at first, but I always meet in a neutral place and I go online to check them out too. I'll post some links on how to do that at the end.

As I mentioned in my previous post, I date mostly younger men. Oh, I have dated some older guys too, but the younger ones seemed to be more up my alley. Here are some of the older gents:

The first is Steve who had prematurely white hair. He was really just a few years older. After three dates, he decided to go back to an old girlfriend. John in the middle was such a sweetheart, but he decided after one date that he wasn't interested. Mark on the right went out with me twice. I had such a good time with him, and I think he is much cuter than his pics. Our last date was two summers ago and he took me to Jacobs field to watch the Indians play. We had great seats and even though I really don't care about baseball, I had a blast!

These fellows were one date wonders. I still keep in touch with both. Alex on the left is very highly educated with a PhD in physics. He teaches at a college. And he is just a little bit of a perv. If I gave his actual name, you could Google it and come up with all sorts of articles that he has written for publication. Bryce on the right with the Corgi is a sweetie who thought the drive to my house took too long. It would have been a couple hours shorter if he had bothered to follow my directions!

Marc was a man that I never actually met. We had talked for a couple months and he invited me to come to Massachusetts for a visit. I bought a plane ticket and made plans....which he cancelled five days before I was to arrive because he had met someone special that weekend. Grrrr. I lost $100 for not fulfilling the ticket. Still though, do you blame me for trying? What a hottie! He ended up splitting with Ms. Someone Special after about 3 months.

Then there was the criminal element.

I am going to give this jerk's full name because anyone who hears it should run FAR the other way! Doug Sclafani is documented to have dated women all over the US. He swindles them out of money. I had just one date with him. I had googled his name, but misspelled it. After the date, I just didn't like him much at all, and googled him again and was shocked what I found! The web is pretty quiet about him now. Must be because he has been in prison the last year and a half for theft. Sounds like some woman got wise somewhere. Oh, and his wife emailed me and a slew of other women a few months later, stating his marital status. Surprise, surprise!

Then there were those who were loved and lost.

It's still hard to even talk about this one.

There were some that I considered "the one that got away."

The timing just never seemed to be right with Mo, my Bangladeshi baby. He is such a cutie on the left, and that's him a few years later. Bigger, but still sweet.

I really wish I had a pic of Bret the farmer I dated now and then for a year and a half. Farmers have great muscles, and this one was very sexy! He didn't like the drive though, and always needed to get back to his livestock before morning. I was just a little hearbroken when he met someone local and got married.

There were the ones that cheated:

Scott has his own website! He was dating a minimum of 12 women at the same time, all the while living with a girlfriend! I dated him off and on for five years, and I knew he dated others now and then, but had no idea of the extent of his cheating! This is a pic of him in his 30s.

And here he is again in June, now age 42. Amazing to see what unfaithfulness does for male pattern baldness!

Mitch was another cheater I dated off and on for 2 1/2 to 3 years.

He somehow forgot to tell me about his wife though I knew he dated someone else for a while. I didn't know he was also dating several other women besides that! He put too much info out there on MySpace and got found out. Men should realize that women scorned all band together. And don't men realize we save all of our conversations in archives?

Then there are those who just live too far away and work too damn hard.

I keep telling Ryan that working 7 days a week is going to kill him and make him old before his time. He's all about the money. I'm all about wanting to spend time with someone. Sigh. He is so cute. I have been trying to meet up with him again for over a year.

I can't leave out the man that I felt could be a soulmate, the only man that I actually said "I love you" to first. Here is Johnny Angel (yes, really his name)looking incredibly hot.

But this is more like how he looks all the time. He is visiting me at a cabin in the Hocking Hills on a vacation with my kids in this pic.

I last saw him last August. Four months later (after I confessed my love for him) he married a girl from Germany. Ten days after the wedding, he emailed me telling me how miserable he was. I was less than sympathetic.

What's a girl to do though than dust herself off and keep moving on? In March, I had plans to go to a convention in Dallas. A man from that area had been talking to me for about 6 weeks prior. I ordered a sexy little blouse and jacket on eBay so that I could really catch his attention when we met!

I paired this with a darker pair of tight jeans, and black high heels. Did it get his attention? Oh yes! We are still talking, and I am trying to convince him to come up here for a visit. If he does, you'll hear all about it, and I'll even post a pic!

As you can see, I'm not about to give up my search for Mr. Right!

Here are a few ways to find out more about potential dates. There are all kinds of search engines.

Google is one of the best. Just type in a name within parenthesis,or their email address or their user name, and it helps if you can type in other info such as their home state. See what you come up with!

Veromi will give you a person's age, who they live with, and possibly their business, as well as some towns they may have lived. It's helpful in seeing if there might be a wife in the picture.

Whitepages gives out an address, phone, and even an age range. This came in handy when a 20 something was trying to pass himself off as a 30 something. Good lord, I was the same age as his parents! He didn't get a date.

Here is a new favorite! Criminal Searches will give you a history of charges, but it isn't foolproof. That's how I found out that Doug S. had finally had a well deserved conviction, and I found out where he was incarcerated.

MySpace can give you a lot of information also. People put a lot about themselves out there. Hmmm, I suppose you could check Blogspot too!

Good luck finding info about future dates!

As you can tell, I had way too much fun again with Flickr Toys at Big Huge Labs!


The Scarlett Rose Garden said...

Giiiirrrll, you are frickin' halarious!! OMG, I'll be waiting for the actual book to come out, heee!

When I'm trying to find dirt on someone I also search their screen names and you can see what they've been posting on message boards and such.

Buffie said...

Omg! I do feel for ya out there in the jungle of apes we call men! lol!

Shelia said...

Morning! I'd be scared to death to be searching for Mr. Right by internet dating! Actually my niece found her husband that way! You're a brave gal! But you tell a great story about guys, you've picked some cuties.
Be a sweetie,
Shelia ;)

Deb said...

Hi Kady, after a young marriage and divorce I took my time too. I hope you find someone soon that is on the up and up and ready to settle down and be for real. Deb

Bridget said...

You have left a trail of cuties. I would have been afraid to internet date but after meeting so many wonderful women through blogging, I can see how it could work just as well for dating. Luckily, I have Mr. Right, right here at home! Hopefully, I won't need to be looking anytime before my retirement home days. LOL

Donna Lynn said...

OH MY WORD KADY! You are something, in the dating arena!

I am going to pray for you that the Lord leads the perfect man right to your door! I fell at the feet of mine, 25 yrs. ago, and I heard the Lords voice telling me this was the one! When God sends um they are perfect!!!

I am back in blogland, come for a visit! I have a new blog so you'll have to change my blog URL! Missed you and your humor!
Donna Lynn

artis1111 said...

My hubby is 8 years younger. We have been married 31 years. Love is grand..Kathy

Justine said...

Oh my girl, you really are a dating ho, aren't you? heeheeheeeeeeeeeeeee! I loved this post... gave me a little glimpse into the REAL Kady, the one who's lusty and busty. Heeheeheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Justine :o )

Justine said...

Oh, and P.S. Kady. My cousin Chessie, met her husband, Michael online when she was still a teenager. They're now happily married and trying to get pregnant.

Justine :o )

Rue said...

Hi Kady :)

You have really met some good and very bad men! I can't get over the prison guy!! I did a search on Veromi and you're right! Everything about me and Rich is on there. That's nuts LOL


Jan and Tom's Place said...

Hi Kady...

Thanks for the visit and all the kind words about our blog. We hope you visit us again!

By your comments about Tom and I, you more than likely know that we met on the Internet! And, before we even met in person, we knew we'd be getting married. How? We trusted GOD to pick the right person for us. We'd both dated others, only casually ~ Tom, a time or 2 since his wife died of cancer...and me...only twice in 5 years. Neither of us had ANY INTENTION of dating around...but of allowing God to put the right person in front of us.

Now...that didn't mean of course that we weren't to put ourselves out there! If we'd not put our profiles on, we may have not met when we did.


Anonymous said...

Whoever you are making a statement about D. Sclafani. You are so wrong about him. Keep your comments to yourself. So you're the person to have thrown the first stone. It's nice to know that you're so perfect.

Anonymous said...

Hey Anonymous I do know this guy very well and he is crook and a liar!!!! Behind bars is a great place for him! he stalked me and my daughter and scared us both very badly. He tried to take money from me as well. We are not perfect no not one of us but the things he did are very wrong and go beyond not just being perfect. I'm sorry if I have offended you in anyway but you have not been his victim.

Anonymous said...

Well forgiven09..... Thanks for the heads up. However, he's never lied to me nor does he stalk me. My friends like him both male and female. He's nothing that you're stating. Just watch what you're stating about him. This is a traceable sight. Hmmmmmm........

Anonymous said...

Douglas Sclafani was in jail for rape. He raped me in November of 2005.

Anonymous said...

Absolutely..... Stay away from Doug Sclafani. I got out of it easy, just a couple hundred dollars. But, what a liar! I hope that he is still in jail and anonymous, I hope you're talking about a completely different Doug Sclafani, but I doubt it. If you want to be stupid and fall into his trap, be my guest.

Anonymous said...

I agree, to stay away from Doug Sclafani. However Marisella, I fell into his trap of Doug Sclafani being a liar. I never lost any money. Just the lies caught up with him really quick. He left one night and never came back.

Mrs Doug J Sclafani said...

Doug Sclafani is Married and has been for a very long time. He is not Divorced!!!!!!!

Marisa said...

Hey! Just wanted to give a Doug Sclafani update. He's in jail in WV. Check out this site:

janie Scott said...

He is a piece of trash. He dated my mom a couple years ago in Newark, OH.

Lula said...

Doug Sclafani is using his middle name , Joseph, now. He is trying to convince me to date him but. I feel like he lies to me. He says that his daughter and son live with him...that he's been divorced twice, and is not married now. Any information please??

Lula said...

Doug Sclafani is using his middle name , Joseph, now. He is trying to convince me to date him but. I feel like he lies to me. He says that his daughter and son live with him...that he's been divorced twice, and is not married now. Any information please??

Life on the Edge said...

Lula, if you're asking, you already know that it doesn't feel right to you. I can't tell you what to do, but please listen to these women here. If you have money, there are documented accounts of him swindling his lovers out of it. He has spent time in prison for theft and for rape. If you Google his name, there are several of his mug shots. My encounter with him was very brief, but my gut said that he was bad news, and with the exception of Anonymous in these comments (who could well be Doug himself), every single thing I have heard from any woman indicate that he hurt them in some way. I have heard from women privately as well. My advice would be to block him and end all contact for your own well-being and safety.

Lula said...

Thanks. My intuition told me that something was wrong, but I guess I just wanted to hear it from another woman. Thank you.

Abc123 said...

Lula, are you still speaking with "Joe" Sclafani? My mother has been dating him for over two years. Even with ALL the red flags on the internet she still stays with him. I need solid evidence against him!

Abc123 said...

Lula, my mother has been dating "Joe" Sclafani for over two years now. Even with all the red flags on the Internet she stays with him. I need solid evidence against him and would like to talk with you more!

Anonymous1 said...

I met him in the summer of 2015. We met up a couple times for dinner and/or drinks but he seemed to always rush out when it came time for the bill or even as bold as to hand me the entire check. That is a no no in my book. There was also the story of being an ex-Army Ranger but when he asked me for assistance on completing a job application and updating a resume he didn't want to place that information on there. Hmmm red flag waving. Or how about the two different cell phones he would call from....hmmmm. Always said daughter lived with him and son lived with his ex. I ended that one. Blocked his calls and moved on.

tracey jolly said...

Lula - I dated doug joseph sclafani from june 2013 to august 2016 (my daughter is abc123). He lived with me most of 2015 until i asked him to leave june 2016. I didnt want to believe anything i was told about joe because i thought i was in love. Who doesnt like to be told they are beautiful and loved. But if you posted october 2015 he was cheating on you with me and cheating on me with you. Do you want to be with a serial cheater? His ex wife is holly go harris on facebook. Message her. Joe is a liar and a cheat. Plus he used me for 6,000 because he never paid rent or for his phone which i just cancelled last week! Good luck!

tracey jolly said...

Lula - i dated doug joseph sclafani from june 2013 to august 2016 (abc123 is my daughter) so he cheated on you with me and he cheated on me. He is a serial cheater and liar. He bilked me for $6,000 because he lived with me most of 2015 until i asked him to leave june 2016 and never paid rent or for his phone which i just cancelled last week! He is a job jumper too. He had so many jobs in 3 years i lost count. DO NOT DATE HIM! I didnt listen to the people i should have because i thought i was in love with him.

Unknown said...

I talked to Doug in 2002. He was in Colorado. Was in a halfway house supposedly. Then was picked up and put in jail because he said they got the story wrong and wouldn't believe him about missing items from the place he worked and a few people that were missing items at the halfway house. I let him reverse charges on phone calls. He said his family was rich but wouldn't send him any money because they didn't like his soon to be ex wife. He said he was going to pay me back when he got out. He went to jail twice while I was talking to him. Denver then somewhere else in Colorado. I still have the letters he wrote Me from jail. I hope women Google him and stay away from the creep.

Unknown said...

I'm curious if anyone has any info on Doug S. Now. My sister is dating him and were trying to get more info!

Life on the Edge said...

Unknown, my first and last date with him was about 10 years ago, but I will tell you that since I posted this in 2008, I have consistently heard from women. He has served time for theft and rape. I heard this from an officer of the law. There are sources online that she could use to find out info on him, but she'd have to pay for it. Bottom line, I hope she listens to what women have said here and take it seriously. Otherwise, she is in for a world of hurt. He is a serial cheater and he swindles his lovers out of their money. He has cut a wide swath through states like Colorado, Florida, and Ohio, just to name a few.

Life on the Edge said...

Also, Google "doug joseph sclafani. I bunch of links will come up. He is a registered sex offender.